Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
