Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
