My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
