yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
