I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
