he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
