I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
