It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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