Michael Bay diarrhea
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
