Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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