I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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