I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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