he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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