I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
