I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it was like eating out sand paper
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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