went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
