Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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