I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
