Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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