He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We left an ass print on the piano.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
