please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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