So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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