I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃