she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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