i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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