Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
