I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
