Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
