I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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