Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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