I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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