why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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