I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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