I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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