1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
