): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
