I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
