there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She's the barista slut.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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