I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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