Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We were destined to go to rehab together
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
