imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize