But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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