loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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