you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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