She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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