the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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