She said her name was "party"
I think I am morally bankrupt
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
