My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
