she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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