you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
