____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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