I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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