Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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