Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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