And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
