It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize