he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize