For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
