Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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