I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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